I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
