she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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