With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
