in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
