ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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