so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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