His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
