My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
