I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
