I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
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