Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
not ubering you a puppy
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize