hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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