You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I have aggressive nipples.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
