and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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