im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
