I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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