It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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