You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
my poor anus
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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