I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
