i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
