Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
