Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
