i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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