i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Randomize
