New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
