I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
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