May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
