Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
