I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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