used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
