The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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