you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize