We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
