Im at strip club and am horny
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
