Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
