Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize