I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
