well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
True college students do jello shots in the library
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