Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize