dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
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