i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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