He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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