did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
