either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
