Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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