One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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