her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
