Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
