and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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