I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
