My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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