jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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