i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
