I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
