"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
