you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
