I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
