Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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