I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
