i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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