totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
