Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I think your dad took our porno
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
