i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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