She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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