My hair reeks of homosexuality.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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