yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize